You know exactly what I mean; “One and Done”. And you know exactly the consequences if you don’t take the proper precautions. Let me paint a picture. It’s Friday night; like your boss has had his foot so far up your ass all week you can taste the cheap leather off his cap toe Allen Edmond Nordstrom Rack exclusives Friday night. You’re in need of a drink, or 4; and who knows, maybe even a bit of scantly clad debaucherous behavior to end the night. Now before you go any further there are a few things that can make this an unforgettable night; if correctly executed these keys will hopefully avoid any awkward morning after.
1) Be clear of who and what your objective is before you start drinking. If you wouldn’t take her home before your inaugural alcoholic beverage, then I can guarantee the worst idea since the Bowflex total gym is to take her home after 5. It might seem like a solid idea before midnight, but when that stallion turns into a pumpkin you won’t be so ecstatic.
My man’s shirt is all the way fucked up, but he’s on the right track so far
2) Try and limit both of your drink intake to between 4 and 6 depending on your tolerance. The last thing you want is a passed out 20 something yr old brunette who’s name you don’t know lying on your bathroom floor, Amy Whinehouse style.
My point exactly
Take a listen to this Track while you surf the site…
3) Small talk is one thing, a recap of your life story is another. Treat your convo like a tweet and cut it off at 145 characters. Do you really want her knowing that much about you? And in the event that you do, trust me she could care less.
4) Have a great exit strategy. How you close the deal is up to you, to each his own. Hopefully your methods don’t involve any duck tape or rope. Just realize that to avoid any unnecessary conversation, you need an exit strategy; something solid, so that you don’t look like a complete ass hole. Tell her your mother has glaucoma and you need to be home to deliver her morning wake and bake material or something. You don’t want it to seem like you just committed a robbery.
5) Most importantly, have an alias. No explanation necessary. If you don’t understand why, then you’re in the wrong game buddy…
Real: Billy Fake: Phillip
Use this information wisely…
AAAAAAAAND CUUUT!